Musings on recent years...

In April 2005, I was 17 and at Sixth Form College. On the Friday of Pope John Paul II's Funeral, we were given the day off and I watched it on the BBC news, trying my hardest to ignore the stupid running commentary of Huw Edwards. It was about as solemn and decorous as the New Rite could provide for the Funeral of a Pontiff I suppose, and Cardinal Ratzinger was the Celebrant, so I just ignored the lay readers and anything else which smacked of Novus Ordo irreverence. I only knew the name Cardinal Ratzinger before then, and I had never seen him before, but when he came out to offer Mass, I took an instant liking to him. One thing I clearly remember about that Pontifical Requiem Mass was that the Cardinal refused even once to look into the camera. I remember thinking at the time (in my quaint silly way) that my mother and I were the same age when we first saw a Papal death. My mother was born in 1961, which means that in 1978 when Pope Paul VI died she was 17 (she says that she can't remember Pope John XXIII). It was a major event, and when I returned to Sixth Form after the Easter break, I felt that during the Sede Vacante, the world lacked something essential.

I remember during the Conclave the secular media were considering the Papabile, and what the world ''expected'' of a Pope (that he be multilingual, morally spineless etc), and thinking to myself ''what has this got to do with you?'' And then finally, when the what looked like grey smoke issued from the Sistine Chapel, I was literally on the edge of my seat. Then the Cross-bearer came out, and the Cardinal Proto-deacon or whatever he is, and he announced probably the best news of my life up to that date. I was euphoric! Even more so because I was going to World Youth Day later in the year, and I would see him face-to-face. I remember that the election of an ''old conservative'' wasn't pleasing to many, even some so-called Catholics, but what did that matter? I was well-pleased. I enjoyed World Youth Day with the Holy Father for the most part, except some ghastly catechesis (with guitars, priests dressed in mufti, waving hands etc), and during the Papal Mass in Marienfeld, the Holy Father looked right at me - which is to say, he looked in my general direction from about 40 feet away!

In 2005, I attended my first Old Rite Mass - a Low Mass at the London Oratory. I can't say I was profoundly moved by it, since it was only a Low Mass, but I found it intriguing, and it was better than any Latin sung Mass in the New Rite that I had heretofore attended. I was rather confused by the Server turning in toward the priest during the Preparatory Prayers - it took me ages to figure out why he did that! At this time, I had no idea what a motu proprio was, nor did I imagine that within the next few years the Old Rite would be freed and brought rightly back into the liturgical life of the Universal Church. As the next two years passed, I remember approving of everything the Holy Father did and taught (with the possible exception of him going into a Mosque in Constantinople), and when the Motu Proprio was issued, I quoted the Psalmist: A Domino factum est istud, et est mirabile in oculis nostris (This has been made by the Lord, and it is marvellous in our eyes).

Since his election, the Holy Father has made ''ecumenism'' a major part of his Pontificate. I can't say that I approve of the Ecumenical Movement as it has so often manifested itself - Ecumenical Services, praying in common, joint declarations etc, but the approach Pope Benedict has adopted is certainly one to my liking, and very resonant. He is both benevolent and very wise. He has watered down no Church teaching - if anything, he has proclaimed the essential truths of faith more powerfully than his predecessor - but the prospects of a united Christendom seem all the more likely. I wonder that people don't see it. Secular people, and some Catholics, rabbit on and on about how ''divisive'' the Pope is, how out-of-touch with modern man, how he puts people off by making mistakes etc, but this is probably because they thrive on dispute and can't stand an orthodox and sensible approach to the Unity of the Church. The Holy Father has rightly seen the necessity of liturgical orthopraxis, how this relates to the complexities of Ecumenism, and is doing his utmost to foster that unity of liturgy and doctrine which is so needed today. I can't wait until he celebrates his first Papal High Mass in the Old Rite in St Peter's.

As regards the Anglicans; having thought and prayed earnestly about it for some days, I see now that perhaps this is the most practical and pastoral approach at the present. In any case, the Holy Father has a better grasp of these deep and complex matters than I. Maybe it is the best way to get our ancestral churches back, and who knows, maybe it will prove only temporary, and that in a generation or two, the Anglo-Catholics will be fully assumed into the Church and can finally repudiate their tradition. Step by step...God bless our wise and loving Pope!