Good counsel?

My mother and I had a lengthy discussion last night about life. This was instigated over my feelings of profound annoyance about someone I know, pecuniary matters mostly. I don't like feeling annoyed about them because I love them immensely, but I just do feel annoyed, and I feel sorry for them. Inevitably (as has most discussion with my mother turned of late) the matter turned to my unfortunate circumstances, apropos, University, long-term employment etc. I don't like my mother's way of dealing with this matter; ''well Patrick, if you'd actually done some work you wouldn't be in this position'' - you know, the rubbing-my-nose-in-it approach, and I don't like having to face ''reality'' at the best of times, but a good dose of reality can be refreshing and helpful sometimes.

One thing my mother blames my failure at University on is this blog. In fact, she has asked me to stop blogging altogether. In reality the problem goes deeper than that. When I enrolled in 2006 I was young, had lots of money and lacked personal discipline. Now I am less young than I was, have no money at all and still lack personal discipline, and the application to do anything worthwhile. In all honesty I am entirely frustrated with life. I am sick to death of subsisting on £350 a month (which, because I am constantly overdrawn, is never even that much - £200 if I am lucky); on top of this I have a standing order going to try and rebuild my savings (which 4 years ago were about £4,000 - now it is £30!), I have a monthly phone bill to pay (my mother blames my purchasing the iPhone upon the influence of ''social climbers'' - keeping up with the Joneses etc), and housekeeping; so it all adds up. In the end I am left with nothing and I don't like that. I haven't purchased a single book in months! So all I have going for me is my education, which is hanging on by a thread. One of my biggest regrets is not having gone to Oxford (I could have done, I had the grades), but I was too afraid to leave home. Never mind, we all make mistakes.

In the meantime, I am going to take my mother's advice and stop blogging. She has in fact commanded me to do so. I often wondered whether this small, vicious, blog was even a positive contribution to the ''apostolate'' of blogging. As I said in a previous post, thinking more deeply upon the life and dispositions of J.R.R Tolkien (my hero), I don't think he'd approve of blogs much. In the last few weeks, I have lost four followers - perhaps this is a sign that I have reached the end of the road? What do you all think?